Friends with Benefits
by Yaneto
Summary: I hate the ending myself, but it started with an all right scene. This was all his fault! If only I had never fallen for him... While Jounouchi lives the life of the insane in a mentalfacility he can't help but remember the man who is to thank for it all
1. Chapter 1

"What are you thinking off right now, Mr. Jounouhi?"

I shrugged, of course I was thinking about something, but considering my current thoughts were related to homicide, it would be for the best to keep them to myself."

"Nothing at all..?"

I shook my head and reminded myself of rule number one: Usage of voice should absolutely be avoided. So instead of bothering with words, I hung my head and fixated my gaze upon the ring embracing my left thumb. I couldn't help but smile.

"why are you smiling Katsuya..?"

I looked up to glare at the man in front of me. Now that this rediculous facial expression called smiling had ruined everything and had put to waste all the effort it took for the previous 37 minutes of emotionless invulnerability, there was only one way to avoid further complications.

"Smiling sir..? I cannot imagine any reason for me to smile and therefor I think that your previous statement is inaccurate." Focussing my gaze on his forhead to make sure I'd win the staring contest that would automatically follow.

Only the ticking of an old clock broke the cold silence that filled the room during our heated eyeball showdown. Normally it would not have gotten this far and if it had, I wouldn't have had any trouble controlling the current situation.

But today... today was different. My head just wasn't in the game. Thoughts... continously haunting me. Why..? Why did he show up..? Why did he show up after so long..?

No! This was not the time to think about that. My mind needed to get back to earth right now! Cause if not, I had to risk my bunkbed for a sleepover in isolation.

"I trust you Katsuya, you know that right?"

I nodded. Rule number one was back into effect.

"But, Mr Jounouchi, for you to get well again this trust needs to be mutual. You understand that right?"

Do like you always do Jou, look him into the eye and nod! Just look him into the eye and nod. That's all you have to do, to be able to return to safety. Do it! LOOK HIM IN THE EYE!

"Why are you looking away Katsuya, do you not trust me? Perhaps you should prove your trust and tell me exactly what happened to Seto Kaiba December 26th."

It wasn't a question. It was a demand. I had lost the game and there was only one thing left for me to do. Only one last emergency bottun to push "I'm sorry, I just... can't... co- con-control.

I quickly got up from the wooden chair and threw myself against the tower of flesh who was guarding the only door in the tiny space my session was held in. Rooms like these were especially made for all the mentally scared prisoners inhabiting the facility. They served the purpose to guarantee the safety of the 50 million shrinks that were employed by said facility.

The tower of flesh didn't even budge and quickly had me overpowered. the shrink calmly stated his verdict. "Administer calming drugs and put patient 764-1b into isolation."

While I was roughly dragged to the most daunting area of the facility and all my thoughts quickly slipped away from my conscious mind, there was only one thing that kept haunting me. The name Seto Kaiba. This was all his fault. If only I had never fucked him... If only I had never fallen for him...


	2. Chapter 2

It was pointless. Actually, it always was... Yet I always tried. Perhaps after so long, there is still hope in the core of my frozen heart. Though I'm not sure, but you would expect after 15 months of living in misery that there wouldn't be... Yet every time I opened my eyes, I always expect the light of day. What I find however, is utter darkness.

Of course it was to be expected, at least if you are a person qualified as sane. the isolation cells in the facility weren't famous for their light or spacious features. So why did I get my hopes up every time?

Probably because 15 months ago my sanity was questioned and therefor I was here.

I sighed to let all the oxygen in my lungs escape my body, it always felt good to exhale while wearing a straitjacket. As if you possessed the control to create more space. It was false hope, as usual.

The former cremation furnaces, especially built for one coffin to fit inside precisely, were not to be controlled. The only thing a man without superhuman strength could do, was to lay still and breathe as slowly as possible to refrain oneself from panicking.

From the very first time, that I had the honour to experience the torment of isolation, I thanked God I wasn't as unlucky as to have to cope with claustrophobia, like some others in the facility did. Their screaming, sobbing and heavy breathing pierced through anything.

Sighing again I slowly relived the previous moments during my shrink session. I wasn't sure how much time had passed since then and how long I was in here already, but that wasn't of any importance. The crucial thing was to realize what went wrong and what rules to establish to guarantee that it wouldn't happen again.

It didn't take me long to realize what had caused my current state of despair...

Kaiba, Mr Seto Kaiba... the vile root of all disasters. No rules could ever made to refrain Mr. Kaiba from ruining everything. There were only two options to cease his memory from torturing me any further. Option number one was to change history. Built a time-machine, go back into time and assassinate one of his parents.

Option number two was to erase my own memory or to damage my brain functions in a way that would make me unable to think. Ignorance is truly bliss, that's one thing I am sure off. if only it could be true... no more thinking of the mistakes I made, no more worrying if I can keep up my facade the next time I have to deal with the shrinks of the underworld... no more memories that could creep up on me in those silent times.

I closed my eyes, I wasn't able to fight the images in front of my eyes back. They were stronger than I was. I was in their territory. There was nothing that could possibly distract me from the memories. Not even from the earliest ones…

It wasn't long after the departure of Atem, also known as 'The Pharaoh', that our senior year started. Finally Yugi's alter ego had disappeared and with him all the strange adventures that we went through every three months. It was finally time to have fun and I enjoyed every second of it.

It was me, yugi, Anzu and Honda against the world and no one that could stop us. The occasional bickering just before class, The bowling team we had created relying solely on Honda (considering the rest of us sucked so bad) and the many card games we played at the game shop after school were all phenomenal.

The problem with having the time of your life is, that time flies when you're having fun and before I knew it the graduation exams were upon us.

While struggling to get through all the information, on paper that was obviously meant to be burned, one thought kept me going: After all this suffering things would go back to normal. The gang would go bowling on Wednesday's eve again and hang out every day because that's what people do during the holidays right?

But boy, I couldn't be more wrong. While I was caught up in my dream world, living only in the moment of the day, all the others were looking out for tomorrow. The day after the graduation ceremony Anzu travelled to America to pursue her dream to become a professional dancer.

Not long after that Yugi went for a trip throughout Europe together with his Grandpa, it had always been a dream of the old man to see the pretty ladies of Europe. With the prize money, earned by winning several duel monsters tournaments, Yugi could finally grant his grandfather his somewhat perverted wish.

It turned out that this summer was about to become like the good old days. Just Honda and me. Although we would miss out on yugi's wit and Anzu's warmth I was sure that this summer was destined to be perfect. What I did not knew back then was, that somehow those 3 short years of happiness had clouded my mind from the truth and had frozen my soul into lies.

two weeks long Honda had to call me off on the last minute before I finally realized that my former buddy had not caught the flu, nor did he attend his grandmother's funeral or his father's birthday. No... apparently his new girlfriend just seemed much more interesting than I was.

And there you had it. Four minus three leaves... Katsuya Jounouchi, crowned and rewarded for biggest sucker.

Life on the street had made me hard, had given me the competency of a winner, the control I needed to survive a shattered world. Life with Yugi had made me soft, delicate and unaware of reality. in three short years I had lost all my vigour.

Therefor I was a dead duck for what was to come. You see, as I had evolved into a being that was made out of sympathy and frailness. Transformed into a person, that depended on others to survive , I also had become pretty hopeless the moment I was left all alone. I had lost most of my independency and forgot how to deal with life as a lone wolf.

It only got worse when I got declined for the same university of duel monsters Yugi was accepted for. I always knew he was the superior duellist, however I never expected us, to be this far apart. The only thing I could do was stand by and watch Yugi built a new life on the other side of the country while I was left behind with nothing but a broken dream.

Being once again head first thrown into the real world I needed distraction. I did not want to accept my faith. I did not want to agree to the fact that I would become just as hopeless as my dad before he got rid of his alcohol addiction. I just... couldn't.

Promising myself that I would work my ass off to get accepted next year into duel monsters academy reassured me slightly. But it did not take away the anxiety. Only one thing could... booze.

My father quickly figured out that I wasn't attending school and therefor refused to fund my living. Instead I had to go look for a job to finance my apartment and food until I could show him some kind of prove that I was once again studying to become a better person. The prove didn't come, the jobs, however, did.

Pizza delivery man... Fired. After they figured out I was a pretty bad courier. Waiter... Quit. the pay was ridiculously bad and for me to keep the job, I had to study etiquette and that was never going to happen. Dog walker... Fired. I still don't quite understand what the problem was. The only thing I did was share some of my chocolate with the dog. I just couldn't resist those eyes.

Many more jobs followed and in the end the only thing I managed to keep for longer than a week was the occupation of bartending. Ironic how booze and partying seems to run in this family... It just keeps coming back...

The amount of hangovers each week quickly increased after I got accepted for the job. Although inducing alcohol was forbidden during working hours I always managed to get some of the poison in my system. Working every other night and partying the other I suppose anyone could understand that my promise to become a better duellist didn't go through. Obviously, the hangovers did not quite stimulate me to practice more.

Beside the horrible mornings, life was good. Now that I did not attend any school I had time for those things that would've been pretty low on my to-do list normally. In addition I spent a lot of time with my father. I helped him paint his apartment and in return he helped me with mine. We went out for lunch or dinner often and of course we made it a habit to watch football together every Monday. When I thought about it was so unreal.. barely 2 years ago he was still drinking… making his and my life miserable and even though back than I thought I would never be able to accept him again as my father, right now I did. And those dark times seemed so far away.

But in my life, it was practically a written rule that all good things had to come to an end before I would get the crazy idea that my life wasn't as bad as I always believed. That there actually was good in this world and hope even for the hopeless.

When my dad and I had finally established the relationship I had craved for all this time, I received a phone call ordering me to head over to the hospital as quickly as possible. The situation was dire.

Sometimes the Gods decide that a particular person isn't worthy to live a blissful and carefree life. Those, chosen by faith, are doomed to crawl the earth in bitterness for their entire lifespan. I was chosen that day, when I entered that hospital room and witnessed the last bit of life escape my father's lungs. The ruddy colour that had always been the characteristic colour of my father's skin had diminished from his body. A pale grey had taken over his once rosy coloured cheeks. He heavenly breathed with a sharp noise that stabbed through every muscle in my body. He told me he was feeling good and that he was hardly in any pain, but those lies were revealed quickly.

The doctor had destructively stated his verdict. My father was experiencing heart failure and was hardly strong enough to keep on breathing. He was going through the most horrific pain and was holding on to thin air. It was either waiting, witnessing his painful breathing and the torture he was going through or inducing morphine, which would lead to a painless, but inevitable death.

My father choked that day, because breathing took too much of his strength. He didn't feel it, the drugs had made his entire body numb, but I could see his life slipping away slowly. The remaining colour of his skin gradually fading away and his limbs growing stiff and cold. I held his hand throughout the entire duration. Stroking his hair and whispering soothing words. None of which he ever received. Every time his chest didn't inhale oxygen for more than 15 seconds I feared for his life, but every time he could assemble enough strength to continue breathing.

After seven hours, suddenly the heavy breathing reoccurred. While my father Coughed up the most dreadful noises I had ever heard, I kept on repeating words without meaning until it stopped. Until all of it stopped, leaving me with nothing but a flat line and an empty shell that once resembled the person I called dad.

The day The lessons of live that told me that eventually everything will be all right, turned into nothing but lies. Told by those who were blessed by the Gods with a life worth living! Because for me, nothing was ever all right.

Now that my father was allowed out of this mess then why couldn't I? After all I knew exactly what was going to become of me… Nothing. Nothing at all. And I would only be fooling myself, if I were to believe any different. What could possibly become of a teenage boy with an hateful mother, a dead father and no education whatsoever.

I did not care anymore. I accepted my faith. and now it was time to see how much time it would take me, to destroy myself.

Quickly my life started to resolve around thrills. my dreams were none, my goals became simple. It was all about finding the quickest way to escape reality. A harsh reality that once it got its chance, cruelly forced me to realize that I was a low life and a loser. no dreams, no talents and no future.

There were no chances for my conscience to haunt me on the dance floor, nor on the bottom of the bottle and neither during the countless one night stands. It was pleasure for the moment and right after a race towards the next distraction. The people I called friends changed every evening and were forgotten when the sun came up.

There was… only one exception…

-== XxxxX ==-

"Hey jou!, how you doin' buddy? What are you still doin' on the dance floor without a drink! Once again goo' ol' Daniel has to take care of ya."

I smiled at the freckled face before me. This was exactly how it always started. I would enter the dance floor, look around aimlessly trying to find no one in particular. Until I would be patted on the back by, what I suppose you could call, my drinking buddy Daniel. Extravagant and completely insane, but he preferred to refer to it as fabulous. He was one of those obvious drag queens, nothing like me yet I really liked the guy. Perhaps that was because he always offered me free drinks to show everyone around us he owned the only gay club in the entire city of Domino . Well there's nothing wrong with liking the people that benefit you right?

Anyway after my first free drink a second one immediately followed and after 2 more drinks the 'who's getting laid tonight' game often began. We would look around the club, searching for anyone interesting and once we found our targets we went to get what we initially came for… Sex.

"An Irish car bomb Mike and hurry up. Tonight we've got a selection of good-looking blokes I'd like to 'get to know better'." Daniel said to the bartender grinning.

"You realize that that will be your seventh… you sure you'll manage to stand your ground on those heels after another one."

"Very funny Joe, But I don't need heels to be fabulous and look at it as me giving you a headstart to get more than me tonight for once."

"As if." I replied still scouting the club for anything interesting. It might sound easy but finding anything even remotely interesting in a club you visit practically far too often is quite hard.

"Isn't that something for you Jou?" Daniel said, nodding his head towards a blond muscular man with a distasteful earring.

"No way bro, blonde isn't my style." Daniel turned back to the Bartender to accept his drink muttering something along the lines of 'your loss'.

It started to piss me off majorly how no one in the entire club matched my likings and I was about to give up until my left eye caught sight of a man with chestnut hair dancing alone with his eyes closed.

He was Sensually swaying his hips to the beat of the music. It was one of those types that had the talent but lacked the experience. I poked Daniel who was still searching for what he would refer to as 'today's ass', while sipping from his drink.

'Daniel, who's the new bloke with the million dollar body?' nodding my head towards the still clumsily dancing individual.

Daniel frowned, fixating his gaze on the ass of my new interest.

'Hmm, what about my new target. I'd say we call him Mr Ass of the Night.'

I couldn't help but grin at his reaction, typically Daniel.

'I've got to disappoint you there dude, But I'm not passing this one to you.'

I hopped off the barstool and made my way towards 'Mr Ass of the Night.' locking my glance on the target and started counting down towards the moment of first eye contact.

3.. 2.. 1..

The man turned around and opened his eyes slowly… I felt my eyes widen at the perfect sight in front of me.

Two deep crystal blue eyes gazed into mine. Their expression was fierce but with a hint of uncertainty. A blue sea that could sway anything to their desire. It was an expression I vaguely remembered from long ago, but those memories were flushed away alongside the alcohol in my system. After all memories were irrelevant thoughts, which only purpose was reminding those unlucky individuals that their existence was futile. I had no use for thoughts right now. Lost in those cerulean pools of bliss I strutted towards my new distraction.

-== XxxX ==-

The jingling sound of keys woke me back up into reality and quickly a small steel door opened up at my foot. A man grabbed the stretcher I was lieing on and pulled it out roughly. The sudden beam of light that greeted my face blinded me.,

"Get on your feet 764-1b! Hopefully you enjoyed your little bit of alone time."

My sore muscles, stiffened from the cold steel from my cell, ached while I get off my stretcher and nearly collapsed onto the floor. My weary body could hardly stand. I hadn't slept nor eaten, for the entire duration of my isolation and I felt feverish. The guard luckily caught my weak body just in time.

"I suppose your body is lacking some essential nutrition." The guard said with a jeering tone.

"now get a move on, before you miss the next meal!" he bellowed. I dragged my heavy body through the corridors towards the communal room. A muffled tune tried to rise the mood in the grey halls, which I trudged through.

'_Cause it's another day for you, for you and me in paradise.' (1)_

_(1) Song: Another day in paradise by Phil Collins_


End file.
